Saturday, November 22, 2008


Twilight beats Bolt. 33 million so far. Looking to beat opening of "Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone".

Summit just confirmed: New Moon is now "In Production".

Hugh Jackman is the sexiest man alive.


I think I may weep with joy.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Twilight Movie says...

Perfection. I haz it.

OH, where where where where WHERE do I begin?
Well, I suppose the beginning may be best.

We arrived at the theater three hours prior showtime- and were the first to do so. Way up in the front, we slowly watched the fans trickle in. T-shirts, pajama bottoms, and often copies of books being opened and shared between groups for review were a trend of the night.
By the time we entered the theater, the collective spirit of the Twilight fandom was in perfect form. Screaming through the previews (particularly during "the unborn", and when kristen stewart walked onscreen for a different movie), it seemed like this was going to be one very, very long night.

But something I love about Twilighters: they want to be there just as much as you do. By the time the Summit logo dawned over that ginormous screen, you could have heard a pin drop.
Better still, all Twilighters share a similar sense of irony, shock, and when things are just so awkward you know that only a true fan could register this for what it is: Meyer-humor. And that movie had it. Thankfully, it was backed up by fairly good special effects (if slightly awful makeup on a couple characters, some fantastic performances, and more wolfy-sparkly-sepia-washington-magic than you can shake a stick at. LET US BREAK IT DOWN!


10. Cameos, yo!
Stephenie Meyer is made of awesome. Why is this? Well, in the tradition of Stan Lee, she shows up in her movies. This time, writing away on her laptop whilst conversing with the friendly waitress. Next time- who can say? Either way, I do so love that woman.

9. Washington. I LOOOOOVE Washington.
You know, while I am the first to know that Twilight was- in fact- shot in Kalama, Oregon and NOT the Olympic Peninsula, it still tugs at the heartstrings to see my beloved west coast displayed with such camerawork as only Catherine Hardwicke can provide. Roll on, Columbia, roll on.

Any fan will immediately recognize the scene in which our unsuspecting Bella meanders in front of a "fan" (teheh), to the immediate discomfort of Mr. Masen-Cullen. However, our personal audience of le night laughs through the entire thing, with cries of gradually louder "ooooooooooooh!". Edward is fierce. Bella is frightened. And immediately, you can just see Melissa Rosenburg (our screenwriter, much love) just sitting at her desk, thinking "They are gonna diiiig this." And oh, we do. We made Twilight for them, now they are making Twilight for us.

7. Through the age-toned looking glass...
Another coolio write-in: we get to see Carlisle and his first two recruits to Camp Cullen at the all-important momento de decision. What follows looks painful, left us wincing with the memory, and is simply exactly how I imagined it. Soooo veeerrry perfeeeect. :D

Was what I cried to my seatmates as Edward stepped into that convenient shaft of light. Since I know forests in Washington actually do have "shafts of light", I have not grappled with that concept like y Texan peers. Anyhoo. If you have ever seen those christmas ornaments: the ones that look like they've been rolled in sparkly coconut shavings: thats really all I can compare it to. Needless to say, the sight is magical, and shriek inducing for the group of Reaganites congregated below my seat.

5. Two words. Vampire. Baseball.
You know, there will be some people that hated this part. But I really felt as though they pulled off the effect here, and when you set pretty much anything to "Supermassive Black Hole", it becomes significantly awesome. Plus, when Victoria says she's got a wicked curveball, I believed it.

4. There was no small role, and DEFINITELY no small actors.
Jessica, Mike, Tyler, Eric- they were totally showstealers, and I loved it. You could have made a movie on that alone. Cleverly written, perfectly executed, and I bet you Twilight's midnight showing revenue (all seven milion of it, yo!) that these peeps are getting fanclubs as we speak.

Having been listening to this soundtrack beforehand, I already knew I liked it. Still, while critics scorned it, I was elated to have the nearly perpetual music playing as the film progressed. n00bs won't get it, but for Smeyer, music WAS Twilight. She has a playlist for every book- sometimes specific songs for specific scenes. Once again, might I say that is the movie for the almighty fan. No way Joe the Plumber will understand a bit of it. However, this has not hurt numbers at all, as we will discuss later...

2. Heartstring #29: is pulled.
One scene that made me cry. Bella leaves Charlie. Made me cry in the book, but Billy Burke's AH-MAZAZING performance was absolutely heartbreaking. It moved me, Bob.

1. Jacob. Edward. O THE HATE!
RAAAAAA YES!!! I knew, the moment those two locked eyes, that this series is destined for EPIC AWESOME. They're perfectly cast, Taylor Lautner (aka Sharkboy, AKA JACOB!) is rather adorable even WITH his terrifying wig, and bound to absolutely MAKE New Moon. Which brings me to the part of the blog which excites me most...

Let me quote the Associated Press. Oh yeah- this is legit.

"The film adaptation of Stephenie Meyer's vampire-romance saga scored $7 million from shows at midnight on Thursday, and it's on pace to bank as much as $30 mil on Friday, Variety reports. That Harry Potter-esque sum would rank in the Top 20 of the biggest opening-day grosses in history. Moreover, the film is almost assured of exceeding its expected $60-mil-plus first-weekend haul -- by far."

In other words: Let the New Moon shooting, merchandising, and high-demand-sequel writing BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, November 17, 2008


After a series of lukewarm episodes, Heroes has taken a turn for the AWESOME. By this, I mean that the final for the Villians saga, AKA Transition From Writers Strike Which Sucked time to the new and improved Heroes we all know and love is forthcoming. In the preview: Heroes, Eclipse, POWERS BE LOST! ALAS!
I translate this into my new theory for that most awesome show on TV, may it be loved by all. By "Fugitives", the name of the new saga, we can know that EVERYBODY ELSE ON EARTH will have superpowers(!) and the Heroes will not! May I reference The Flight of the Concords: THE HUMANS ARE DEAD!!!
But no- these humans live, and how very human they are! This means awesome stuff for Heroes. New people can come in- because the slate is wiped clean! Normal people in a world of oddity! How will they survive? Will they be hunted to extinction? What about the powered people that help these outcasts?

The epic win has arrived.
Thank you, Tim Kring.

And I dedicate this entry to this catchy little dance tune, "Eurodancer", by some DJ nobody knows. Love you, MC Joe the Plumber.