PB AND J, SHE LIVES!!!

WOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In a move that was so full of awesome, it pwned heroes fo shiz to the hizzle (that was never meant to mean anything, just so you know) JIM PROPOSED TO JAM!!! IN THE RAIN!!! I SCREAMED MYSELF HOARSE!!! YAAAAAAY!!!!!!!
I've waited soooo long for this moment. And while the passion is fresh, I would like to dedicate this moment in time to the world's greatest shipping, ever. May September the 25th remain in living memory until the end of time.

The happy couple.



PS - I am having stress breakouts over the whole heroes fandango. Will someone just leak season 3 for me, before I get an ulcer? Kthanxbye.

Its Prediction Time! (again)

As you all probably know or may as well guess from the other posts on my blog, in the wake of Breaking Dawn, I was a tiny bit lost. Okay, very very lost. When another book release blips in and out of existence like a vampiric vision of the future, and the movie is weeks (gar!) away, what is an aimlessly surfing fangirl to do?

Along came Heroes...


To be precise, along came the HEROES SEASON PREMIERE!!! And let me tell you, I don't think I've ever been so on edge about a piece of programming in my life.

First, I turned on NBC- exactly an hour prior the premier in order to watch the annoying little red carpet dealio and the random video clips that only serve to make me more anxious than before (if that was possible).
But what to my wondering eyes should appear, but the cable was screwed up, and I could barely determine the brand of car displayed in the current commercial!
So we called Time Warner Cable (may their name be forever scorned), who politely (and with an almost indecipherable accent) informed us the problem would be fixed in two hours.
*panic ensues*
So I call people with TVs (AKA 1313 Woodworthington Place), and halfway through my investigation, the picture begins to flicker into normality. I give my half screeching half sympathetic farewell and begin to watch.
Three hours, and it barely felt like five minutes!
As this was the first time I had ever seen Heroes on cable (cowers in born-again-heroes-fan-ness) I admit I found the commercial breaks slightly unnerving. But otherwise, season three appears to pwn season 2 in ways that cannot be described in words. (to the non-believer: shunnnnnuh!) And I am deliriously happy, to say the very least. But with a new season comes that which makes fandom so very fun...
PREDICTIONS!!!

Hero we go!
In reflection of the multi-character storyline Heroes follows, my predickies will be arranged in a person to person format. Enjoy!

SYLAR
AKA GABRIEL GRAY
AKA GABRIEL PETRELLI
BETTER KNOWN AS: He Who Must Eat Your Brain
Or does he?
I am not quite sure what to make of Sylar anymore. I don't think he will ever pair up with anyone....ever (not that Mylar really ended up happening in the first place). But with that weird and utterly inexplicable revelation that Gabe is, in fact, a PETRELLI (yes, it must be all caps), a thousand possibilites spring to mind. For one, there are all the allusions the recently revived Nathan has made to angels. Now, before you say "Brooke, you've been watching waaaay too much Van Awesome", think about it. Thiiiink about it.

CLAIRE BENNET
AKA THE CHEERLEADER
BETTER KNOWN AS: She Who Is Only A Brunette In The Eveeel Future
(Brunettes worldwide go: wth?)
She can't feel pain. The pain made her feel human. ANGST! ANGST! ANGST!
I would venture to say that Syler, in the process of playing his favvy game, "I Tinker wit ur Thinker", removed some little chunk or other that equates to a pain receptor. But the greatest question of all: why is this even important? Greater still: What happened to that bratty little brother with the name out of 1921?

MOHINDER SURESH
AKA MR. DUMB AS A BOX OF ROCKS
BETTER KNOWN AS: Fly Man!
Oh, Mohinder, Mohinder, Mohinder. What a plan I have for you!
Following Mohinder's to-be-expected injection with super soldier serum and rather unexpected transformation into a wall-crawling sex maniac, he spurred the two single most disturbing events in the premier. One: Him. Maya. *dry vomit*, and Two: Something is growing out of his back. While the first is far more disgusting than the second can or ever WILL BE, the producers obviously mean for us to see numero dos as terrifying, and thus, we will proceed as such.
Many fans have noted that this follows the plotline of "The Fly", a 1986 remake, to a q. As someone who ran around the room screaming "HE'S THE BEAST! HE'S THE BEAST!" with wild fervor, I will admit- I am slightly disappointed.
But a fly? Seriously? That would suck on ice. I'm going for lizard. Him staring at his veins, the scale-like growths, light sensitivity, going to wash his face in the middle of the night for no apparent reason (yes, I am overanalyzing this- I am aware). But more than anything, the one thing that convinced me.....

MOHINDER THE LIZARD AY AY AY!
It all makes sense. I am certain. And I will not be swayed!


MATT PARKMAN
AKA THE DONUT-LOVIN PSYCH-DETECTIVE WITH ABANDONMENT ISSUES
Mattaroonio has been stuck in the wilds of Africa (where, shockingly, Sprint's far-reaching grasp has already taken hold in the heart of native peoples), and after being rescued by the distant relative of Isaac Mendes, sits down for a chat. Shockingly little happens. Future!Peter is oh so very mysterious in his motives.
Either way...I'm pretty sure Matt sticks to the straight n' narrow. While there were hints that he might start abusing his power, come one people- this is Matty we're talking about. The guy wouldn't hurt a fly. Unless that fly was Mohinder. Then everyone's favorite nearly-common-law slash shipping may begin to dabble in the domestic violence that neeearly happened LAST season. *dingdingding* ROUND ONE!

NIKKI SANDERS
AKA JESSICA SANDERS
AKA TRACY STRAUSS
BETTER KNOWN AS: Who knows?
My Emma Frost ripoff detector, while a rusty and moody contraption on its best day, was going haywire all through the episode. Ice queen? The paleness? The ultra-red lipstick? DO THEY THINK WE'RE IDIOTS OR WHAT?
Actually, I really hope they know that WE know, since half the Heroes fanbase are Xmen people who need something more than a movie every three years to sate their unstoppable appetite.
Whats to predict? I'm assuming she ate Monica (yay!), promptly forgot her identity (grr.), then proceeded to run past Micah and make a Bobby-Drake-style pathway of ice to yet another politician's suite, lingerie in hand. (seriously, where does she get all this stuff? Is she a secret shopper? Seems like the type...) Regardless, the identity of Tracy Strauss really means nothing to me. A great-aunt once removed on her abusive father's side who aspired to marry the governor of New York but was disgraced when Nikki's troublesome house-elf caused a pudding to drop on Angela Petrelli's head and later died in a rock slide while running from a bear that was released by Matt Parkman and his Boy Scout buddies who forgave him for being the bastard son of Morzan and went on to steal Zar'roc in a high-stakes dragon war...

FUTURE!PETER
AKA SCARFACE
Much like Claire's inevitably brunette future, Peter is doomed to be cold, hardened to the world, and have the sickest scar in the universe. Future!Peter is no exception, and by taking history into his own hands, projected the world of our present Heroes into utter turmoil, or so Angela Petrelli is convinced. One also wonders if the guy ever rescued that irish wench he picked up in a pub off the coast, but like the recently devoured Monica and presumably turned street-urchin Micah, has been forgotten in the sands of season 2. Future!Peter is also mean and has mama problems, as per usual, but hey, what else is new? I predict he dies. Plain. And. Simple.

PETER PETRELLI
AKA "OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS I'M STUCK IN THE BODY OF AN OVERWEIGHT MEXICAN!"
BETTER KNOWN AS: Brooke's favorite. *contented smile*
I kept saying it. Again and again and again, I said "No, that convict really is Peter", and they said "No Brooke, he's just crazy" and I said "NO, YOU'RE JUST CRAZY!!!", and I WAS RIGHT! WOOT!!!
Ahem.
Either way, Peter had best not go evil whilst stuck inside ol Pedro. Nor do I allow him to get together with anyone presently on the show. None are worthy of my favvy. So there.

HIRO NAKAMURA AND ANDO *insert japanese-sounding surname*
AKA JOINED AT THE HIP
BETTER KNOWN AS: "Love Will Tear Them Apart"
Hiro is cruisin for a bruisin with this fella. First of all, I do not justify what he is doing. DOESN'T HE KNOW THAT BY ISOLATING ANDO HE IS CREATING THE FUTURE HE WISHED TO AVOID??? *pantpantpant* Either way, Hiro is saddening me. My cute little chibi guy is turning into a....well....a villian. *sobs into pillow* WHY OH WHY??? FIRST FUTURE!PETER, THEN PROBOSCIS MAN, NOW HIRO!!!
I weep for the future.

And then, the little people. HRG. Angela. Daphne Speedster, AKA Autobahn. Molly Walker. But who really cares about them? Lets go to the list of...

CHARACTERS BROOKE WOULD COMMISION SYLER TO BRAIN-DRAIN, WERE HE OPEN FOR HIRE AND A NON-FICTIONAL FIGURE

First, Elle. I. Hate. Elle. People with stupid powers who are all teary-teary because their daddies didn't love them irk me to no end. Plus, she zapped Peter. Her life was rendered null and void in my eyes at that exact moment in time.

Then, Maya. Following the logic of that feat of film and fx, "The Fly", she will become pregnant with Mohinder's crazy insect-baby, they will have a freaky birth sequence a la Breaking Dawn, and, Lord willing, Maya will finally BUG OFF. *snorkles at bad pun*

And finally, Mr. Muggles.
He means something. I know he does. You know he does. WE KNOW HE DOES.
And if Lizard!Mohinder taught us anything, its that no attention and no screen time make pet a crazy boy.
Mr. Muggles is the craziest.

Well, I'm off to do more research on the strange developments of HEROES!!! Love you Daddy- do a hula for me! Happy Birthday Mamasita- you are the Ando to my Hiro, and I promise not to hate you for killing me in the future!

...

JK, Mom. <3

Thank you, Nerdworld

This guy has read my mind, written it down, and become Brooke Nowakowski's favorite person of the week.
http://time-blog.com/nerd_world/2008/08/twilight_of_the.html?xid=rss-nerdworld
Oh, how I loved Breaking Dawn! And I must admit- THAT is a movie I want to see. Support the franchise, just to see how that one comes out. It would be SO AWESOME!

Anyway, today has been a pleasantly nontypical day in our sun-baked state. Thunder, lightning, and torrents of rain accompanied my trip to the hated orthodontist's office, and continue to this moment. However, I couldn't be any happier. Why?
Well, in spite of the newly added rubber bands *grrrr* I am currently so ibueprofin influenced and happy with my quesadilla lunch that I am completely happy to sit in my chair, play sims, and watch Heroes.

Oooooh, Heroes. What a show, what a show. Let me say now, for a person such as myself- being challenged at explaining just about anything in a verbal format- it is complex beyond belief. This of course being a result of the writers attempting the multiple-story arc comic fans will recognize immediately. And, suffice to say, they pull it off. A fascinating combination of reality, fantasy, and the macabre make for a thrilling series. If only it weren't so ridiculously overpriced.....
For now, I use various Taiwanese-looking video posts and the occasional limewire to find the early episodes, which NBC has since taken off their site in the perpetual following of that almighty dollar. Fortunately, with the Office, I caught on relatively early, and the volumes weren't so darn expensive. The Office is an intriguing one- while I feel that it has lost a little of the simple hilarity I loved it for in the early days (much like Spongebob), I am so desperate for the PB&J shipping to fall into place, I could scarcely care if the series turned into a suspense thriller midway through. I need Jim, Pam, and a white wedding. Maybe a Dwight/Angela reunion as well. Runaway bride, anyone?
But now, in what has turned out to be a tv post after all (sigh), I must make one last statement for my guilty pleasure show that was never meant to be: Moonlight. The story about a vampire detective, his girlfriend-who-used-to-be-a-vampire-in-Underworld, his Seacrestianly metrosexual buddy Josef, and so many other characters that one begins to wonder whatever would have happened if it had gotten signed for a second season. I loved Moonlight like a fluffy sheep-patterned sock. And what wasn't to love? It won its time slot every week, had the desired audience- but alas, CBS would not listen to reason. Thus, I have since boycotted CBS, and am proud to say I am NBC all the way. Honestly, I never like Ghost Whisperer anyway.
And last but not least, the quote of the week!

"This quest. This need to solve life's mysteries. In the end, what does it matter when the human heart can only find meaning in the smallest of moments? They're here. Among us. In the shadows. In the light. Everywhere. Do they even know yet?"
- Mohinder Suresh, geneticist

*squeals of delight*

I just read through the transcript of a Q&A with Smeyer following the release. Check this out.


Electra: Did James hunt a real Child of the Moon and is that what Victoria thought Seth was?

S: Yes, that’s exactly what happened. James was looking for a challenge and he did track down one of the few remaining Children of the Moon. So that was Victoria’s first instinctual thought, but if you really look at Seth closely, you would realize that was not really what was going on. I had fun putting that hint in Eclipse.


AYEEE!!!

Predictions for the next book:

I had a dream that a hamburger tried to eat me!

Not really.
But I did have a dream that my youth group, Mrs. Youtsey and untold others got stuck in a campsite right out of Jurassic Park!
Ladies and gentlemen, for your entertainment- my nightmare.


It started with me and a large group of girls- some I knew, some I did not, but all from Texas if memory serves- inside a bus driving through a forested area. Random adults were present as well, such as my family, Mrs. Youtsey, and Jamie's mom.
Then the bus started going through these gates. (by now, there was only one straight road in this jungle-like forest.) At first it was the same driver going through the same gate, but then he got a cell phone call, and began to grow all uneasy. Then, when a gate opened, he would step out and another driver would come in. The old driver would be violently attacked by a dinosaur, and we would move along, leaving him or her presumably killed. I began to feel like this wasn't a youth camp, but some kind of isolated encampment.
Then we were in the camp, and it looked a lot like the lynden countryside in summer, except we had buildings for our dorms, an outdoor amphitheater made of wood, and a pool behind the stage. The stage, however, was large and wooden- highly resembling the one in the annex building of silver beach, right down to the cranberry curtains. Otherwise, this area was forested in a northwestern fashion, with the jungle surrounding on one side of the campus and a very rural wheat field on the other, beside the pool.
I was walking in the back of the amphitheater when I saw my Dad sitting on the back step, and my family appeared beside me. I think my mom asked what they were doing, and I said, matter-of-factly, "they're killing them." Onstage was Mrs. Youtsey, her arms spread to one side as though announcing an act. I remember looking at my Dad and wondering if it was hard for him to watch a woman he once had some kind of affection for die in such a way. But my mom was now confused, though not panicked in the way you would imagine. She wondered why they (the they was never exactly revealed) were murdering them. I remember having a strong sense of knowing that somehow these victims had "broken the rules". However, I do not recall what those rules were. Only a strange sense of heightened superiority in my knowledge that I had not been selected.
Suddenly I was in the dorm room, a room verging on cream colored white walls, with gray carpet and a layout like that I have drawn (see sketch).
Here, Jamie's mom was sitting in the desk chair, talking soberly to a highly placid Lois. She was saying at first how if this killer was simply commiting mass murder for the pleasure of it, we would be better served to wait in our escape, rather than leave and let the remainder of the camp group die at the hands of our nameless killer at an even faster rate.
Suddenly my mother was there. I pleaded her to get an airplane, such as the one with which they had been presumably visiting with, to rescue us by night or at some other inconspicuous time. But my mom said that Jamie's mom had a point, and seemed entirely reluctant to even consider this form of rescue, or any form, for that matter. Before long, my mother had disappeared, and I was now sitting on my cot facing the bathroom.
Jamie's mom then stated that Jamie and Mrs. Youtsey had died, seemingly in an ongoing conversation with Lois, that which I had not detected until that moment. (I was sitting on a cot facing the desk when this happened. Additionally, I began to wonder at this point if the woman's remarks were geared only toward a death wish for those of use who had not perished alongside Jamie.) I exclaimed "Mrs. Youtsey?", when Jamie's mom nodded and added "And the *name not remembered* family.
This really hit me hard. I have no recollection of the name of this family, but I somehow knew something about them, for I started repeating their name to myself and had a distinct image of the people in my head at the time. I curled up to the wall, pushing my head against it and sobbing to myself. Numerous ideas began to run through my head- ideas for escape as well as a strong desire to blog about it. For some reason, Pete Wentz and Perez Hilton came immediately to mind, and I was certain this was the right thing to do.
However, prior this Jamie's mom disappeared. Heather and Jessica had been brushing their teeth and chatting in the bathroom through the duration of the previous episode, and were now loudly singing the lyrics to "Sadie Hawkins Dance" to one another. I began to darkly tell them off, stating they would get us all killed; saying "shut up" or thinking about how I had no idea what the "rules" were, though I had a sinking feeling that Heather and Jessica were inadvertantly bringing us into a world of trouble.
A day passed, and began with me crouched over a laptop eerily similar to the very one I type this on. There was a blank screen with a URL bar, and I typed in some random blog server address, but it was the wrong one- as I realized when the home page popped up. I quickly slammed the screen down and went back out.
Then I was standing in the area between the pool and the wheat field, alongside one girl I didn't see clearly, another who I think was Lois, and another with black hair whom looked at me strangely with a small smile, and for whom I had a deep mistrust. . There was a wooden, western-style fence between us and the steep hill leading down to the field, and a very high, very warped chain-link fence between us and the pool. I noticed the fence curled around the pool (this was, by the way, one of those standup frame pools you see on tv, but like two combined, making an 8 shape) in such a way that it resembled a track. Jamie's mother stood on a lifeguard post-looking structure with a loudspeaker, and called forward Jessica and Heather. Suddenly, I noticed that there were two dinosaurs- one small and of a muddled color, the other brown and a little taller than me- like a well-proportioned, miniature T-rex. The two girls jumped the fence, ridiculously eager for the task ahead, and the black haired girl stood up on the fence as well, though stayed there to spectate. I followed suit almost simultaneously to her. A buzzer sounded, and the girls began running, chased by the dinosaurs at a blurringly fast pace. The crowd cheered, and every time the brown dinosaur came my way, I made a habit of swinging backward as to avoid being in the way or distracting it to my disadvantage. On the last lap, I suddenly noticed the dinosaur nearest me was now a boy, of a husky build with short, black hair; making some kind of informative gesture to Jamie's mom, thus ending the race. There were about three laps, when the girls slowed to a stop and a negative bell reminiscent of a game show sounded. Heather and Jessica's faces were clearly disappointed over their loss, but remained as such when Jamie's mom told them to stand on the sidelines- not with us, but inside the fence nonetheless.
I suddenly had an instinctual feeling that two more people were going to be put into today's festivities, possibly our entire group. The black-haired girl threw a malicious stare in my direction, as though saying "you first." I looked to the sky for some kind of rescue, but the air was completely clear- blue skies all the way through. I looked at the field and at Lois (for some reason, the entire dream I never actually thought about making a run for it on my own, but only what the "whole group" could accomplish.) and realized that it was our best route of escape. I doubted we would not be caught, but this was our only hope.
Then it ended.

All this from reading a manga book about a girl and her shape-shifting neighbors right before bedtime.
Ugh.

Heheheh....

I recently had the pleasure, via Twilight Lexicon, to read a couple reviews that have been released regarding Breaking Dawn. (which, by the way, pwned all others) However, one review in particular held great intrigue for me.

"It might seem redundant to dismiss the fourth and final Twilight novel as escapist fantasy—but how else could anyone look at a romance about an ordinary, even clumsy teenager torn between a vampire and a werewolf, both of whom are willing to sacrifice their happiness for hers? Flaws and all, however, Meyer’s first three novels touched on something powerful in their weird refraction of our culture’s paradoxical messages about sex and sexuality. The conclusion is much thinner, despite its interminable length. Everygirl Bella achieves her wishes quickly (marriage and sex, in that order, are two, and becoming an immortal is another), and once she becomes a vampire it’s almost impossible to identify with her. But that’s not the main problem. Essentially, everyone gets everything they want, even if their desires necessitate an about-face in characterization or the messy introduction of some back story. Nobody has to renounce anything or suffer more than temporarily—in other words, grandeur is out. This isn’t about happy endings; it’s about gratification. A sign of the times? Ages 12–up. (Aug.)"

And so, I responded in kind. This is on Publishersweekly.com right now.

"Are you really so desperate for publicity that you would just throw out such a plain, aimless review as the one I just had the displeasure to read? The crowning achievement of the series has been, in the tradition of authors such as David Eddings and Terry Brooks, breathing life into what most would consider sheer fantasies or monstrosities. The masterful way in which Meyer develops her fantasy world within our own is to be admired. But, as I said earlier, your motivations are anything but difficult to decipher. Short, so negative one would doubt the reviewer had ever touched a page in the first place, and lacking any depth whatsoever as to the multiple elements of storytelling and plot involved. Perhaps this is what you would have us think of "Breaking Dawn"? If so, you are doing a spectacular job of it. Please, return to your position when you can represent even a mediocre novel with some level of insight. "

And, following my given info, I am the "Director of Operations and Training, Sentax Pharmaceuticals".

XD

I put the haters in their place. This is why I am amazing.

Is it serious? I don't know what to think- is it all a lie?

Little inside, I know.

But I'm blogging for a reason today, people. Because the fandom has been shaken, not stirred, thrown on it's side, and left to contemplate our disaster forthcoming. That is, if its all true.

If you have not heard the spoiler that started a series of violent hours on IMDB a day ago (and continuing to this very moment), watch my youtube video. This thing has not only gotten me 97 comments, 27 ratings, 21 favorites and (as of today) exactly 2828 hits- but I'm becoming an actualy force on youtube to this day.

I'm the 75th most discussed video in entertainment as of right now. This might not seem like a lot, but imagine the immense size of youtube- thousands of videos uploaded every second- and think about that title. Number 75.

It scares me, frequently.

Moreso, my other video- real pages of breaking dawn, showing (you guessed it) real pages of Breaking dawn, has scored 350 hits since last night, and only bound to grow in popularity.

Linksies:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWzHUgQRX7o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ly_n58jD3wo&feature=related

My secret name. TheAgentofChaos. I quote the great achievement to film that is The Dark Knight:
"Introduce a little anarchy, you upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I am an agent of chaos. And you know the thing about chaos, Harvey? It's fair."
- The Joker

Wise words for a deluded maniac! So anyway, now people are arguing feverishly about whether or not this is all just a big hoax by Stephenie. Any fan who has stuck around this long knows this wouldn't be beyond her- she can do some pretty twisted stuff when she wants to. And, if that weren't enough, her song on myspace (changed LAST NIGHT) was "The Kids Don't Stand a Chance" by Vampire Weekend. Lyrics search if you aren't familiar with the band, but that and the aptly placed Carlisle quote started to make us think we really are getting punk'd.

Either way- I'm getting all the more famous for it- let em squabble it out.
But seriously- let me make an ultimatum here. Renesme? Ireland? NESSIE? HOW COULD THIS BE REAL???
If it is, I swear to this blog- the inevitable book burnings to follow will not bother me in the slightest. *shudder*

READ RIGHT NOW I KID YOU NOT!

This was found on the IMDB boards, supposedly after someone bought the book from an El Paso Airport store.

EPILOGUE ENTITLED "HAPPILY EVER AFTER," PAGE 742

THE VOLTURI COME AND ARE FOUGHT BY THE CULLENS, THE WOLVES, AN AMAZONIAN TRIBE AND AN IRISH CLAN

JACOB IS ALIVE

TANYA LOSES A SISTER IN THE BATTLE

BELLA GIVES BIRTH TO A CHILD BEFORE BECOMING A VAMPIRE

HER SPECIAL POWER THAT SAVES ALL THE CULLENS FROM THE BATTLE IS A "LOVE SHIELD" (LILY POTTER ANYONE?)

THERE IS NO MENTION OF ROSALIE ANYWHERE IN THE EPILOGUE.

BELLA AND EDWARD'S CHILD IS NAMED "NESSIE." YES, LIKE THE LOCH NESS MONSTER. SHE IS HALF VAMPIRE AND HALF HUMAN. IDK, IDK.

SIGNIFICANCE OF HER NAME? "NESSIE" MEANS "CHASTE." IT IS ALSO THE NICKNAME FORM OF "AGYNESS," WHICH MEANS "LAMB."

JACOB IMPRINTS ON NESSIE.

CHARLIE AND SUE CLEARWATER ARE NOW AN ITEM.

BELLA AND EDWARD ARE MARRIED UNDER A "HAVEN OF FLOWERS," ARE DOOMED TO LIVE IN A COTTAGE IN THE WOODS BY THE CULLENS' HOUSE.

LAST SENTENCE: "AND WE HAVE FOREVER."

Alright.....some of this stuff is totally off, I know. But lets be certain. Checking Nessie.....

Omigosh. Its true.

.........

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!

Terror Strikes

As I promised, my sworn job to bring you all the latest in Twilight- both in and out of the law- is my priority in this most desperate hour. Breaking Dawn is just days away. And the possible spoilers have popped up with that incoming time.

First, there was the Iowa incident. A walmart is confirmed to have sold copies of BD today. One comment I read-
" Wait- where? Never in my life have I been so excited to live in Iowa!"

But then came this, most terrifying notion. Its been on yahoo answers and wiki answers so far, all referencing this one spoiler.

"bella changes 45 pages into the start of the next book. she changes because another family threatens the cullen family. it does not go as planned, but i don't want to spoil everything for you. jacob dies before she changes, though, and he makes sure that the tribe will not seek revenge for her being bitten. hope i didn't give too much away. oh, also the person who "changes" her dies also because ****** kills them. oops, i shouldn't have said that much."

While its accuracy (and, in all honesty, intelligent merit) is questionable, this has made the rounds on the forums, and honestly- this is how spoilers come out. But I will continue to search for verification. In the meantime, I remain humbly yours...
MRADRZ4EVR

The Twit-lite Flashlight, "A Father's Perspective"

It's a story as old as time. Girl meets vampire; Girl falls in love with vampire; Vampire gives girl the cold shoulder, (what other kind of shoulder could he give her?), Girl develops a hole in her heart that she seeks to fill with reckless living and werewolves. Is this a tired out story line or what? My issues with Twit-lite:

1. Edward is a pedophile - Lets face the facts; we are talking about a 100 year old man having the hots for a 17 year old girl. Everything else aside, this makes this a truly horrific story in and of itself
2. Belle has abandonment issues - Have you ever seen a kid with less involved parents than Belle? She decides to live with her Dad, (most likely to make up for 16 years of child support that he is in arrears for), and starts a life with the least amount of parental involvement that I can possibly imagine. Is Charlie also the father of Encyclopedia Brown? What else can explain how little he sees going on in his daughter's life? I think that he had better get a clue. His daughter is always black and blue, and seeks a father figure in her life, as she is never able to garner the attention of Chief Chuck. Dr. Phil could do a whole week's worth of shows starring Belle; Vampires and the girls who love them.
3. Jacob is the nice guy finishing last - Flaky Jake is tall, dark and handsome. He is good to Belle and would do anything for her. This means that he will never win her heart. Jake is too young to understand that dumbBelle likes the bad boy, and there is nothing that he can do to change that. He will probably end up giving his life for her. She will act like she is sad, but she will be so happy that Ednerd is with her that she will forget Jake's name before his body is cold.

I will write more as time allows. Understand this... more people will flock to Forks WA in search of the meadow than ever before. The Qillayute casino will do more business and the wilderness park will get a number of new carloads in search for the giant bears/werewolves. When everyone sees that it is not nearly as rainy as the author projects, there will be a public outcry for precipitation, and the local firefighters will be paid to spray high pressure water hoses into the air to satisfy tourists in goth clothing for the next few summers. Don't say that you weren't warned.

Brooke's DAD